If you’re reading this in Alabama, I’m sorry. Also, sleep easy knowing that all 49 of America’s other states got together earlier today and decided that you’re ugly, like UG-LY, like instead of using the word “ugly,” we’re going to use “Alabama” instead. SWEET DREAMS. That hideous (and hilarious ) finding comes courtesy of a poll put together by Business Insider and Survey Monkey, which “asked respondents — 1603 of them — to answer each question with a state that wasn’t their own.” Alabama, feel free to sob your way through this with Mississippi.
1. California is the anti-Alabama, and not just because of all the Jews.
2. I’m sure our Cajun Boy is going to have something to say about New York > Louisiana.
3. I dunno, caribou burgers are OK.
4. Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t kick Texas out soon enough.
5. 49 STATES FOREVER, TEXAS NEVER.
6. Go home, Louisiana, you’re mcxjczjxckjmdkcmkzmmamk23232kmd.
7. F*ck yeah, we are.
8. Poor Mississippi.