The not very bright Justin Bieber apparently just hit puberty and is acting on it by visiting a Texas strip club a few weeks ago and, on Friday, hanging out in a Brazilian brothel. He tried to be discrete about it, and by “discrete,” I mean “awkwardly drawing as much attention as possible to himself in the most obvious and embarrassing way.”
How do you sneak in and out of a brothel when every paparazzi photographer in Brazil is following you around? You climb under a sheet, of course, and assume that the paparazzi will think, “Hey! That’s just a little boy under that sheet. Nothing to see here. Move along.” I can’t show you the photo because we don’t have the rights to it (you can see it on Page 6), but it looked like a more awkward version of this.
I hope those sheets were washed.
Having two bodyguards escort the sheet-covered little sh*t out probably didn’t help matters, either. Here’s the story from The Post:
The 19-year-old pop star and a friend spent more than three hours in the popular whorehouse Centauros in Rio de Janeiro — before leaving with two women, sources said. He jumped into the back seat of a car while the women, who covered their faces, were put in SUVs and escorted back to his hotel. Bieber’s security team covered him with a bedsheet bearing the sex den’s logo as he walked out of the establishment — and one of his handlers sprayed photographers with water, demanding they stop snapping, sources said.The Biebs was also identified by his gray wraparound wrist tattoo, which is visible in some photos, and his signature sneakers, sources said.
All the money and fame in the world, and the kid has to resort to paying for prostitutes to let him hump up against them like a cocker spaniel on his owner’s leg after a long day at work, only at least the cocker spaniel pees outside. Bieber just pisses in a corner. BAD BIEBER. BAD.
(Source: Page 6)