Thirty Years Later, People Still Haven’t Learned From ‘A Christmas Story’

Of the lessons that A Christmas Story may have taught so many children of the 80s, perhaps the most obvious and easiest to understand was never stick your tongue on a flag pole in the winter. Alas, here we are in 2014, and one New Hampshire girl has learned this very same lesson the hard way. Having never actually seen the iconic Christmas movie, though, a teenage girl was by herself (no dares in this story) when she looked at the flag pole in her lawn and thought, “What the hell?”

What did we learn today, young lady?

“It just kind of popped into my head, hey what would happen if I stuck my tongue to a flag pole. At the moment I was like it will come right off,” Maddie said.

It didn’t.

“I’m stuck here in the middle of our yard just trying to get help,” Maddie said.

With her dad snow plowing at the end of the drive way here mom inside, Maddie tried pulling herself free.

“I see her standing at the flag pole her arms are waving and I’m not sure what’s going on until I got closer,” said Shawn [last name withheld out of kindness], Maddie’s father. “She tried to pull her tongue off of it as soon as it happened and that’s what made it bleed. I had my hands cupped I was blowing, breathing on her lips and tongue.”

“I was just like, did I really just do that to myself, like did I really do just do that?” Maddie said. (Via WFLX News)

The girl’s lesson in all of this? “Just think before you do something.” An even better lesson in all of this? DON’T STICK YOUR F*CKING TONGUE ON A FROZEN FLAG POLE! Crazy kids and their Justin Biebers and hula hoops and Krokodil.

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