Everyone has goals. Some people want to lose weight, or find a better job, or locate the antidote before the poison leaks into their veins when the blue moon casts its shadow on the jade monkey. Others, though, they set their sights even higher, like the guy who trained his guinea pigs to act out episodes of Happy Endings (that guy is me), or the woman who ate and drank nothing but Starbucks for an entire year. Shockingly, she lived to tell the tale, somehow not drowning in a flood of foam and outdated, yet still hilarious grunge jokes.
For one reason or another, Beautiful Existence (yes, that’s her legal name) decided that in 2013, she would consume nothing but food-based food items and sugar-flavored coffee from Starbucks. According to the Daily News, the Seattle-based mother of two spent “$500 to $600 a month on her meals,” which, as Gawker notes, is “$4,000 more than the average adult woman spends on a year’s supply of groceries.” That’s a whole lotta stale biscotti.
Beautiful even stuck to her all Starbucks everything plan on holidays, although she did let her kids eat turkey on Thanksgiving. In the spirit of things, she wrote their names on the side of bird. She misspelled “Kevin.”