‘Cockmasters’ Is A Perfect Parody Of An ’80s Action Figure Commercial (With Lots Of Phallic Weapons)

By: 04.23.14  •  3 Comments
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If there’s one thing today’s TV-watching kids are missing out on — what with their ad-free, on demand programming — it’s hilariously over-the-top commercials for crappy toys.

But for the rest of us, the perfect parody commercial above for Cockmasters, a line of action figures with weaponized crotchal regions, will bring back plenty of memories. It hits all the same notes as a bad ’80s toy ad: inexplicable fire and explosions, perfect demonstrations of spring-loaded features that will surely never work properly, a barely-explained storyline to justify a heroes vs. villains dynamic (Tug Dixon, Rugburn, and Loadout trying to beat off the evil Scrotar and Buzzcock), and of course a cheesy tagline at the end.

If you need more Cockmasters in your life, don’t go Googling it (seriously, do not). The creators (Nacho Punch) have setup a Cockmasters website, as well as Twitter and Facebook accounts.

H/T Topless Robot

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