You’ll Never Guess What A Florida Man Named Edward Cocaine Was Arrested For

By: 04.17.14  •  7 Comments

Broward Sheriff's Office

A 34-year-old Fort Lauderdale man was arrested for Xanax possession earlier this week, and as he was brought into bond court Wednesday and the bailiff announced his case, the honorable Judge No F*cks Left To Give pretty much lost it when he heard the name of the man: Edward Cocaine.

“What?” uttered a stunned County Judge John “Jay” Hurley.

“My last name is Cocaine,” proudly stated the man at the podium. His name was indeed legal and inscribed on his driver’s license.

“You know, I’d thought I’d seen it all,” Hurley laughed, shaking his head. “How many times have the police told you to step out of the car during your life?”

“Just about every time I get pulled over,” a chuckling Cocaine admitted. “My great-grandparents came over here from Greece and they changed it,” he said. “That was like in the 1920s.”

The judge remained nonplused. “I’m still trying to absorb this,” he said.

You’ll have to click on the next page for the actual video of the judge’s reaction, (due to autoplay) which I recommend that you do as it is hilarious. It’s basically the courtroom equivalent of saying: Let’s shut it down, internet, because nothing better is going to happen today.

Around The Web


He Is Virginia Tech: Why Blacksburg Will Always Be Smiling For Frank Beamer

By:  •  2 Comments

‘The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2‘ Director Francis Lawrence Explains That Final Scene

By:  •  6 Comments

Jackie Earle Haley Discusses ‘Criminal Activities,’ His Directorial Debut


Tara Subkoff And Chloë Sevigny Discuss ‘#Horror,’ A Cyberbully Nightmare


Todd Haynes On The Sophistication And Passion Of ‘Carol,’ And The Dreary Charm Of Cincinnati


Need An Adventure? Now Is The Best Time To Go To Yellowstone National Park!

By:  •  8 Comments

Samantha Ponder Shares The Greatest ‘College GameDay’ Location, And The Importance Of Being Unbalanced


Weathering The Crimson Storm: How One Football Team Ended A 32-Game Losing Streak


This Couple Setting Out On A Two-Year Van Trip To Shine A Light On Mental Illness Is Sure To Inspire You

By:  •  8 Comments

Francis Lawrence On How Philip Seymour Hoffman’s Death Affected ‘The Hunger Games: Mockingjay — Part 2‘


Loren Bouchard On ‘Bob’s Burgers,’ How His Show Survived, And The Beauty Of Never Growing Up

By:  •  2 Comments

Triumph The Insult Comic Dog Vs. Canada’s Ed The Sock, And The Problem Of Parallel Creation

By:  •  24 Comments