Your modern American caveman isn’t out to cause any trouble or hassle anyone. He might be frightened of your winged flying machines and bright lights, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t down for a good time. Leave it to the police to spoil that good time though. From Huffington Post:
Apart from sporting a shaggy mop and a full beard, Christopher Woods, 29, was wearing a hairy vest that closely matched the rusty hue of his own locks when he was arrested at the Gulf Shores Hangout music festival May 16. We do hope that is an article of clothing, by the way.
Woods’ getup and subsequent bleary-eyed mug shot got the Internet talking. The Smoking Gun dubbed him the “Alabama caveman,” with a “mug shot taken in 10,000 B.C.”
Although the New York Daily News struggled to comprehend “why the scruffy Huntsville native appeared to be rocking Neanderthal-style garb at 10:15 [in the morning],” an Alabama ABC affiliate station reports that Woods allegedly got caught with MDMA pills and a small amount of marijuana while entering the festival. That means some security guard probably patted down the Alabama caveman.
And that security guard promptly felt the sting of his caveman club, allowing our hero to escape and fight another day. At least that’s what he was thinking happened. Guy was probably out of his gourd.