This Local Newsman Is Very Excited To Report About A Man Who Robbed A Waffle House With A Pitchfork

Normally, the story of a guy robbing a Waffle House with a pitchfork is good enough to fall right into my wheelhouse. I love terrible diner food, crime, and farming tools. But this particular story out of Norcross, GA is enhanced by the very animated recount from local reporter Tony Thomas. Here’s a little background from the AJC:

The suspect, identified as Jeffrey Willard Wooten, 50, was wearing coveralls and a ski mask when he entered the Buford Highway breakfast eatery Thursday night, according to Norcross police. After forcing employees into a back room, Wooten went after cash, police said.

“When he realized he couldn’t get the cash register open, he took the whole cash register and exited the store . . with his pitchfork,” Norcross police Chief Warren Summers told Channel 2 Action News.

Outside of the Waffle House, Wooten allegedly dropped his pitchfork, according to police. But he held on to the cash register.

Two restaurant employees than grabbed the pitchfork and used it to smash the back window of Wooten’s truck, police said. Wooten may have been injured while attempting to leave the restaurant.

Amazing, right? Well now watch Tony go to work and sit back in awe at the report. There’s only one reporter I’ve ever seen who has half as much moxy in his reporting and that’s Pat Collins out of NBC 4 in Washington, DC.

I say the two should team-up and work on finding the guy together. They’d probably have an easier time with the cops based on pure energy alone. Then they can drag them back to the Waffle House for some Southern justice.

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(Via AJC)

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