This moment has happened to all of us, I’m sure of it. We’re just minding our own business, taking pictures of our genitals with our cell phones and then mom busts in the room. As Dave Attell put it so eleoquently, the fantasy world has shattered.
Now you’re dealing with a confused mother taking away your cell phone and all this built up d*ck photo energy that you just need to let it out. Well 17-year-old Jonathan Mougeottte in Cushing, Texas found one way to unleash his beast, it just ended up with him in jail. From KLTV:
According to the incident report, NCSO deputies were dispatched to a house in the 200 block of 4th Street in Cushing at approximately 6:45 p.m. Dispatch told them that the suspect was breaking items inside the home.
According to the arrest affidavit, Mougeotte got angry when his mother attempted to take his cell phone away because he was using it to photograph his genital area. At that point, Mougeotte allegedly went outside and threatened to break out the windows of his mother’s vehicle with a brick.
When Mougeotte’s mother yelled at him to stop, the young man turned and threw the brick at her, barely missing her, according to the affidavit.
But that’s not all to this story. Sure you’re throwing bricks, breaking up a house, and taking junk photos all over the place. But how about amateur tattoo artistry?
The NCSO deputies on scene also learned that Mougeotte had allegedly tattooed his 14-year-old brother with homemade items several days before the alleged brick throwing incident. Mougeotte allegedly used a razor blade and ink from a pen to do it, and the wounds “were deep enough to tear the tissue and penetrate the ink into the skin, causing injury.” (via)
Look, in his defense, all he was doing was trying to help his younger sibling install the memory of his girlfriend on his body. He’s also a big fan of the movie Fear, so it works out.
I want more like this!
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