We already know bears are awesome, whether they’re interrupting baseball games or playing tetherball or huffing jet fuel to get crunk. But one black bear in Alaska took the party too far yesterday. The 180 pound juvenile male black bear crashed through a home’s skylight during a child’s birthday party. Everyone made it out of the room safely as the bear had his fill of birthday cupcakes.
Juneau police officers had to respond to a call from Alicia Bishop and Glenn Merrill, who described hearing a crackling noise before the bear fell through their plexiglass skylight and landed one meter away from Merrill. Bishop opened a door leading to the backyard and “yelled at the animal until it casually walked out of their residence”. Because that’s how Alaskans do.
Unfortunately, the same bear was suspected of a previous invasion of an occupied home in the neighborhood, so officers killed him. We hope he barely felt it.
Man, why the police always gotta be shooting black bears? We wish they handed this party crasher over to Brick Tamland instead. He could have tamed him and given him as many cupcakes at the pants party he could ever want.