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100% True Story: A Scottish Woman Had A Sex Toy Stuck In Her Vagina For Ten Years

By / 07.29.14
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When I was twelve and I first got my period, my mother wouldn’t let me wear tampons because I would almost definitely leave them in for too long and contract “toxic shock syndrome,” which would probably cause me to die — a fact that scared me off wearing tampons until I was like, in college. I am now in my 30s and have never contracted toxic shock syndrome, nor do I know anyone who has ever contracted toxic shock syndrome or really even fully understand what toxic shock syndrome is.

So while my mother went a little overboard, it’s still probably better to err on the side of caution when it comes to the dangers of putting things into your vagina — a lesson a 38-year-old Scottish woman recently documented in the Journal of Sexual Medicine learned the hard way. The woman came to the Aberdeen Royal Infirmary after she had been experiencing symptoms including fatigue, incontinence and severe weight loss, and after performing an X-Ray, doctors found a five inch sex toy lodged up in her lady parts, protruding into her bladder. It was then that the woman recalled a sexual encounter from ten entire years ago in which she and a partner had been using it and couldn’t remember removing it. OK, either this lady has an enormous vagina or this wasn’t a particularly effective sex toy. Probably a little of column A and a little of column B.

The dildo had to be surgically removed and the woman had contracted Sepis, which is a “life threatening complication of infection,” as well as vesicovaginal fistula, a condition that causes urine to flow into the vagina (!!!!!!!!) — because if Orange is the New Black has taught us anything, it’s that there is A DIFFERENT HOLE FOR THAT.

I should also probably add that there was alcohol involved in the original dildo-losing incident, so I guess that’s a cautionary tale for something. Do not operate sexual machinery under the influence of alcohol? After school specials must have missed that one.

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(Fox News via Refinery29)


TAGSdildosDUMBASSESSEX SENT ME TO THE E.R.SEX TOYS

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