Truck Nutz: the Movie, a.k.a. Trans4mers, a.k.a, When Do We Get to the Dinobots Factory? is, with the possible exception of an ADD-ravaged teen boy who was born inside a Mountain Dew bottle, no one’s idea of a good film. It’s sporting a 17% on Rotten Tomatoes, and we’ve called it everything from “F*CK” to “THIS” to “SH*T.” It sounds unwatchable, but writer Rachael Acks had to see it — her readers gave $400 to charity to have her sit through the entire screeching pile of metallic dinosaur dung.
Her two headlines: “Transformers 4: I am drunk and I must rage pee,” and “Transformers 4: F*ck This Movie.” You can read those over at Katsudon, but I’d also recommend checking out the notes she wrote while watching the film. Rachael saw it at the Drafthouse, you see, where they’re generous with their servings of alcohol, and lord knows you need a bourbon, spiked with vodka-flavored gin and a powerful horse tranquilizer, to get through Michael Bay’s latest cinematic boner. (Rachael, for what it’s worth, had two beers and two “very alcoholic” shakes.) It’s amusing seeing her get increasingly confused and angry, and it ends, as all reviews of Michael Bay films must, with the following:
I haven’t seen Mr. Vince’s notes, but I imagine his moleskin is nothing but space unicorns with big jugs.