Gummy bear bratwurst is a new frankenfood which is apparently sweeping the nation, because we weren’t content to stop at Kool-Aid pickles and deep fried cola. The sausages, which are now popping up in trendy cities like Austin, Minneapolis, and even select Whole Foods stores, are exactly what they sound like: Gummy bears mixed with meat and then made into sausage. Mmm!
Everybody can thank Grundhofer’s Old-Fashioned Meats, a small butcher shop in Hugo, Minnesota, for starting the trend — which apparently started as a pissing contest between owner Spencer Grundhofer and a nearby auto body owner and friend, Joe Berglund, who dared him to create the sausages. And that’s why we have gummy bear bratwurst now.
I don’t know. Gummy bears are just gelatinous corn syrup, and ketchup is also basically just corn syrup — so if you’re the kind of unholy monster who puts ketchup on your hot dogs* then maybe this might appeal to you. If you’re a level-headed rational person like myself, however, you know nothing goes better with sausage-type products than mustard, onions and maybe sauerkraut, so these bratwurst abominations can go f*ck themselves.
* FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!