Sarah and Katelyn Lothrop, our favorite redheaded twin sister prostitutes from North Carolina, are currently being held in Raleigh. But once they’re free, they should take their talents to Hollywood, and get Disney to remake The Parent Trip again. Except this time, there’s a lot more hardcore sex. The kids will love it! Point is, you should get to know the Lothrop sisters before they sell out (and then buy meth) by reading the ad they posted on Backpage to, um, promote their services.
HELLO THERE FELLAZ, ARE U iN NEED OF TWO SEXY YOUNG TWINS WITH EXCELLENT TALENT
EVERYTHING YOU DESIRE LIES WITH US
WELL WE ARE The ONE YOU’Ve BeeN WAiTiN FOR NOT TO MENTiON We are THE SWEETEST ON EARTH
We HaVE A PERFECT BODY WiTH THE SOFTEST SKIN…
So LeT Us MaKe Your DREAMS come True & Then Some
U WiLL NoT Be DiSAPPOiNTeD
Give us a call at [nope, not gonna do it]
No TEXT or Out Calls OH IM KERRI IN THE BLACK & Krystal in the cheetah print thanks
If you call the number in the ad, you get the dreaded “automated voice messaging system” lady, and not twin redhead prostitutes. Story of my life, y’know?