Yesterday evening I was sitting around with a Comedy Central rerun of Futurama on in the background while I dicked around on my phone, when all of a sudden the most upsetting thing that’s happened during an episode of Futurama since the dog waiting for years happened: This abomination of a Wendy’s commercial parodying Mr. Big’s 1991 single “To Be With You” came on. I watched in silent horror as the lyrics to the rock ballad were changed to be about … *shudder* … Pretzel Buns.
For example: “I’m the one who wants to be with you / Pretzel Bun I know you’ll feel it too.” NO. JUST NO. PRETZEL BUNS, OR BUNS OF ANY KIND DO NOT HAVE FEELINGS AND THAT IS JUST LAZY PARODYING.
Shortly after I went on Twitter and saw that I was not the only one offended by the commercial, as our own Burnsy was calling for federal intervention:
A quick search revealed that others, too, were displeased. (Of course there were also a few idiots who liked it, but screw those people.)
Hear that Wendy’s? YOU HAVE FOREVER RUINED A WONDERFUL SONG. I hope you all are good and happy with yourselves, and that it was worth it in the name of Pretzel Buns. As I said last night, how dare they sully my favorite karaoke song? Clearly that is my job, and if I’ve had a half dozen or so glasses of wine I am VERY good at my job.
Here’s the original, FYI, if you want to try to cleanse your brain from that awfulness: