Let’s get this out of the way, Mila Kunis’ birthday is the perfect shameless excuse for us to stare at GIFs and videos of her being her. Those who are not on board with that may leave the room now. I promise nobody will judge you.
We only have so much non-married Mila Kunis time to enjoy — she just sold her “single” house — and it’s a precious commodity right up there with clean drinking water and Cool Ranch Doritos. While I’m sure 31 GIFs of Mila batting her eyelashes would be completely satisfying, I will try to offer up slightly more substance. So please, enjoy Mila and her internet/universe wins.
1. Gently guiding a nervous reporter through an interview.
Not every man is prepared for a one-on-one encounter with Mila Kunis, especially a particular geeky entertainment reporter. When reporter Chris Stark sat down with Mila last year to discuss her role in Oz the Great and Powerful, the interview immediately got off to an awkward start with Stark asking “Did you enjoy being ugly for once?” Like a mother deer helping its fawn learn to walk — or in this case, talk to a girl — Mila helped ease Stark’s nerves with small talk about Jager bombs and chicken strips.
2. Doing her part to remind the men of the world they are not pregnant.
Being pregnant and bringing a new life into this world is a miracle, but mostly it sounds like a horrific nine-month stint of hormonal torture and I’m glad that I’ll never have to experience its punishment. That said, adding “we’re” in replace of “she” when telling others about one’s wife or girlfriend’s pregnancy is a social faux pas that Mila Kunis will not stand for. She took some time out of her interview with Jimmy Kimmel earlier this year to remind the men of the world that they will never have to squeeze a watermelon-sized person out of their body hole. So, while men can no longer say “we’re pregnant” we can enjoy tequila shots whenever we want. Yippie!
3. Still kinda hot with a beard and no eyebrows.
Oh, Internet, you just love to try to make the pretty celebrities a little less pretty, don’t you? Anytime some Photoshop wiz gets the itch to alter the faces of celebrities like a modern-day Dr. Frankenstein, you can bet that Mila Kunis is going to be on that list. Her face is just too famous and perfectly symmetrical not to alter with beards and Steve Buscemi eyes. Even still, not that bad-looking with a beard and no eyebrows, am I right? It’s not just me, you guys can see past it too, right? Right?!