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Nick Cannon Breaks His Silence About Mariah Carey And Their Relationship In An Epic Twitter Rant

By / 09.04.14
MTV First: Mariah Carey's "You're Mine (Eternal)"

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Two weeks have now gone by since news broke that Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey were reportedly living in separate houses and that divorce papers were in the process of being drawn up. And without a denial, or — going the Beyonce Jay-Z route — some kind of social media PDA from either party, I figured the final nails were in the coffin. Adding to that, both parties have now been seen without their wedding rings so I thought for sure they’d quietly sneak something in the Friday afternoon before Labor Day weekend, but that didn’t happen either.

But now, finally, Nick Cannon is speaking out on Twitter, and … I don’t really know what to make of this. I have a feeling the whole messy thing is going to be deleted shortly, so I took the liberty of screencapping all twenty (!!!) tweets.

NICK-CANNON-1 NICK-CANNON-2NICK-CANNON-3 NICK-CANNON-4

Well not really, because you literally just said your family is going through a challenging time.NICK-CANNON-5

Errr…NICK-CANNON-6 NICK-CANNON-7

I would never slander Mariah Carey. I love Mariah Carey.NICK-CANNON-8

WHY IS IT DIFFICULT THEN? WHAT PROCESS?NICK-CANNON-9 NICK-CANNON-10 NICK-CANNON-11 NICK-CANNON-12

I for one, have never portrayed Nick Cannon as the “bad guy” because I’m too busy portraying him as an “unfunny doofus.”NICK-CANNON-13NICK-CANNON-16 NICK-CANNON-14 NICK-CANNON-17

I have no doubt the check was probably worth it.NICK-CANNON-18 NICK-CANNON-19

Of course Nick Cannon would say “that sh*t.” That is exactly the sort of hokey phrase Nick Cannon would use. That’s exactly what made it so believable. NICK-CANNON-20

So there’s the biggest confirmation wrapped in a denial I’ve ever heard. That’s some ninja-level PR disaster right there, even for someone like Nick Cannon. I’d expect something from Mariah’s camp any day now.

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