Lying to your kids about having sex is completely normal and acceptable for parents, provided you come up with a decent lie. This couple did not and it led to one of their kids interrupting them mid-coitus. AWKWARD!
Pro tip parents, your kids aren’t stupid. So if you tell them you’re shopping online for their Christmas gifts, it’s best to not follow that up with a screaming orgasm. Via reddit:
My wife is a flight attendant and she is gone for 4-5 days art a time. We have been married for 24 years and I really miss her when she’s gone. We have 3 children, ages 8, 10, and 12. The 8 year old is our only girl. She is a fucking vampire. She likes to sleep late and stay up late.
Anyway, on Thanksgiving day, my wife flew in and she missed me A LOT! In so many words, she told me what she was going to do to me that night after the kids were in bed. It made ME blush. So around 9ish, we told the kids to brush their teeth and we would read to them a bit then it was off to bed. After reading to them, my wife said, “You guys get in the bed and don’t come downstairs and bother mommy and daddy. We are going to sit on the laptop and do some Christmas shopping for you.”
Well, this made them run upstairs and get right in the bed. We waited about ten minutes and it was sexy time! I won’t get into details but let’s just say my wife REALLY missed me and was vocal about it.
About halfway through our sexy time, I hear a knock on the door. We immediately stop what we are doing. We are dead silent, hoping whoever it is will go away. Thirty seconds go by and I hear the sweet sound of my precious 8 year old daughter say, “Are you guys still Christmas shopping?” My wife says, “Yes, we are. Go back upstairs.” My little angel says, “Well, all I can hear is AHHH AHHH AHHH AHHH!”
Immediately I lose my mojo. End of sexy time.
The best part of that reddit thread are the comments.
“H-oh God, home delivery!”
FEDEX ME, FASTER!
OH SANTA, STICK THE PRESENTS RIGHT IN THE CHIMNEY
At least she didn’t hear you yelling, “Ho, ho ho.”
I think the real impressive thing is after 24 years of marriage you’re still having sex with your wife.
That last comment? Yep, that’s kinda perfect (and sadly, true).
(Via Reddit)