Vodka-Infused Turkey Is The Latest Reason Why We Aren’t Allowed To Have Nice Things

Because just pounding shots of vodka in between bites of turkey is too much hard work, and it’s Thanksgiving, dammit, you want to relax — Georgi Vodka has partnered with New York’s United Restaurant and Tavern Owners Association to create the first ever 100 proof vodka-infused turkey. Why god, why? What have we done to forsake you this time? (It was canceling Franklin and Bash wasn’t it? I KNEW IT.)

Anyway, Gothamist helpfully has the details:

Last year, the 100-proof turkey was prepared on a trial basis in one tavern and sold out; this year, the bird will be served at over 100 pubs and taverns in NYC, and the recipe will be posted at liquor stores around the nation. (So far it’s on the menu at P.D. O’Hurley’s, P.D. O’Hurley’s West End, Pier 84, Hudson Beach Cafe, and O’Caseys; it costs $29.99 per meal or $69 if you want O’Hurley’s to make you a whole bird.) The five vodka flavors used to make the infusion are peach, cherry, orange, lemon and apple.

Here’s the thing. I could actually see maybe infusing a turkey with like a nice smoky bourbon or rye. That might actually pair nicely. But vodka? And FRUIT-FLAVORED vodka, at that? It’s a turkey, not a goddamned Jello shot.

Anyway, if you live in the New York City area and have nothing to live for, it shouldn’t be too hard to find one of these at a participating restaurant. Or, you can check out the recipe over at Gothamist and make one of your own.

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