Get Acquainted With The Microsoft Office Erotica ‘Conquered By Clippy’

I think I’ve found my new go to example for when someone makes the mistake of bringing up “Rule 34.” This particular tale comes from the mind of Leonard Delaney, the author of other erotica adventures including Taken By Tetris Blocks and Sex Boat, and it features a heated encounter with everybody’s favorite Microsoft Office helper. From the description:

Christie Aackerlund doesn’t need help with anything. So when the world’s biggest technology company offers to fly her to a remote location and investigate an alien artifact, all by herself, she’s all like “I’ll do it!”

But the artifact isn’t what it seems, and soon an overly helpful giant living paperclip is getting her all bent out of shape.

Happens all the time, right? Conquered By Clippy is a short story “featuring sexual situations with digital assistants” written to be enjoyed by mature audiences, or at least an audience that can appreciate the finer points of tastelessness.

But who am I to judge? These personally read as comedic masterpieces. Absurd takes on the erotic genre that folks gobble up like Clippy probably gobbles up the ladies. If it’s written to be serious, even better. Delaney has a clear grasp of language that I can only dream about and deserves any success he can find.

All that’s left is to calmly sit and wait for his next classic, hopefully featuring The Noid from those old Domino’s ads.

(Via Amazon / The 42 / Gizmodo)

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