Advice columns are often full of sex questions everyone has already read: Should I try a threesome? Is my girlfriend cheating on me? How can I talk dirty when it grosses me out? But then there comes a letter that is so perfectly novel that you can’t imagine that it’s actually real.
One such letter arrived in the mailbag of Dear Coleen, The Mirror’s resident expert on all things related to sex and love. It played out like this:
Dear Coleen,
I have been really stupid. I went to a party recently and got very drunk and had sex with all the guys there.There was porn on the TV and, stupidly, I decided to copy it.
Now I’ve discovered that I’m pregnant – none of the men there wore condoms.
I don’t know what to do about the baby but I don’t think it’s sensible to continue with the pregnancy.
I obviously have no idea who the father is – he could be any one of 25.
I feel very ashamed
There are two lessons here: One, always use protection; two, never try to emulate porn at home. If there’s anything we have learned from every documentary about the sex business that’s out there, it’s that these people are professionals who know what they are doing. But perhaps not everyone has Netflix?
Coleen hits back with some tough answers:
You need to look at how much you’re drinking and the people you’re hanging around with.
It also makes me angry that not one guy at the party tried to put a stop to it and considered how you were going to feel the next day.
You can’t change what happened but, hopefully, you’ve learned a massive lesson.
You need to stop beating yourself up over it and focus on what to do next.
Speak to your doctor about STI tests as well as your options for the pregnancy.
I think you need counselling to talk about what happened and whether you want to keep the baby.
Naturally you feel bad about what happened, but the important thing now is to learn from it and move on
And also take in some documentaries! That should actually be the ending to every advice column, because if you’ve got a problem there’s a doc on Netflix about it (Especially if your problem relates to sex or food production in the western world). Or a TED talk…there’s always a TED talk. (Via BroBible)
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