Nobody likes Piers Morgan. This is an accepted fact. When someone as divisive of a figure as Chelsea Handler can own him and make the townspeople cheer, you know it’s bad. So, in typical Piers Morgan style, he recently wrote a piece for the Daily Mail, skewering universally beloved comedian John Cleese for basically “dissing” him at a restaurant in New York — because who even does that — even after he admitted to previously bashing Cleese on Twitter and calling him “the worst type of whining pub bore.”
If your blood pressure isn’t already rising, here’s an excerpt:
So you can imagine how I felt when I sat down in my favourite New York restaurant, Ralph Lauren’s Polo Bar, ordered a fine bottle of vintage claret, sighed with almost indecent pleasure at the gastronomic delights heading my way… then turned to my left and spied Cleese at the very next table. Literally two feet away.
For one tiny nanosecond, our eyes locked in mutual shock, then equally mutual withering contempt.
For the next two hours, we avoided all form of contact – physical, verbal, visual.
It was magnificently British.
If there’s one thing they tell you in Blogging 101 (a class that totally exists, I swear), it’s that you never feed the trolls. But we’ll make an exception because Cleese totally deserves this one:
Piers Morgan writes that I didn't recognise him in a restaurant in New York.I did.I just didn't want to speak to someone I truly detest
— John Cleese (@JohnCleese) June 5, 2015
Although technically Morgan didn’t insinuate that Cleese didn’t recognize him, the fact that Cleese clearly didn’t even read his column and just caught wind of it somehow makes it more of a win. John Cleese: 1, Piers Morgan: 0.
And for anything else you may have missed on the web today…