Meet South Carolina gentleman Patrick Doggett, a 53-year-old who loves to drink and have sex. He loves having sex so much, in fact, that when he doesn’t get it, he calls the police to come over and regulate. But there’s one thing Doggett didn’t count on—which makes sense because he was apparently drunk as hell when the cops showed up—and that’s the fact that when you call 911 and ask them to enforce sex, you’re the the one that’s going to get arrested.
The Smoking Gun reports that the incident occurred early Wednesday morning when Doggett approached girlfriend Faye Woodruff and asked her to join him for a sexy party. Woodruff, however, had her grandkid in bed with her and didn’t like the fact that Doggett was so drunk he “didn’t know where he was at” so she sent him outside. Frustrated with her refusal, Doggett called 911 and informed them of the serious ass deficit he was experiencing.
No idea what he was expecting, but the dude’s now in jail and actually had to be put into a special holding cell because of how drunk he was. His girlfriend refused to make a statement, so it’s likely he’ll be back at her house demanding sex again sometime soon. Well, that is, unless she evicts him, which is what police subtly suggested that she do.
Doggett faces charges of public intoxication, but The Smoking Gun notes he won’t be charged with misusing the 911 system. So he’s got that going for him, which is nice.
(Via The Smoking Gun)