A brief study of all 21 Cleveland QBs

05.16.14 3 years ago 157 Comments

So I’m sure most of us have seen the famous Cleveland quarterback jersey picture that gets updated every time a new QB is served up for slaughter.


With the arrival of Johnny Football to Cleveland I decided it was time to take a look back at the group.


Try and guess who is who!

Have you ever read the Wikipedia article on Browns QBs and took a look at that list? Prepare to feel bad.

Tim Couch – 51 games started. Only QB to start a full season for the Browns (2001), then died.

Ty Detmer – Two starts. Brought on to backup Couch, Couch died, then Detmer died.

Doug Pederson – Eight starts, played when Couch was hurt, then died.

Spergon Wynn – Named Spergon, only had 1 start, a 48-0 loss to Jacksonville. then died.

Kelly Holcomb – 12 starts, then died.

Jeff Garcia – Terrible skin, 10 starts, might be gay if T.O. is right, then he died.

Luke McCown – Four starts, traded to Tampa, then died.

Trent Dilfer – 11 starts, currently on television making us wish we were dead.

Charlie Frye – 19 starts, was eventually benched for Derek Anderson, died of shame.

Derek Anderson – 34 starts, actually had one year of okay play. Then died.

Brady Quinn – 12 starts, now he’s done.

Ken Dorsey – Three starts, forgotten about. Probably dead.

Bruce Gradkowski – One start, very bald, very dead (also backup in Pittsburgh, same diff)

Colt McCoy – 21 starts, broken forever by noted jerk James Harrison, dead.

Jake Delhomme – Four starts, broken forever well before arriving in Cleveland, may have been dead the whole time.

Seneca Wallace – Seven starts, does anyone remember Seneca Wallace anyway?

Thaddeus Lewis – One start, didn’t earn enough to purchase his own gravestone.

Brandon Weeden – 20 starts, decorated WWII veteran.

Jason Campbell – Eight starts, gave fans slight hope for at least 3 total quarters worth of time. Dead inside.

Brian Hoyer – The true hometown hero. Given a chance so few have. Came in and took over the field, won some games. The Browns may have found a diamond in the rough. Then he died.

Johnny Manziel – Rough prediction: he will die.

Sorry, buddy.


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