If you’re on the Internet, you’ve probably heard by now that Bazooka gum is dumping its unfunny comics in favor of a more “youthful” branding. But it doesn’t go nearly far enough. Fire Bazooka Joe, possibly by lighting him on fire, and hire a spokesman with guts. The staff at 30 Rock have even found him for you!
Compare that to the reinvention the company is actually rolling out:
Apparently the unfunny comics will be replaced by “funtivities” and online codes. In other words, kids will now get lame crap on the Internet instead of getting lame joke comics wrapped around their rock-hard pieces of bubble gum.
Come on, Bazooka, we expect better from a brand that was softened to make armor piercing bullets in World War II. Don’t stay a kid’s gum. Go all out. Put that ad up on the air and people will buy Bazooka gum not for nostalgia, not for genuine love of the product, but from the pure, unadulterated fear that Stacey Keach will kick their asses if they don’t buy it.
And really, isn’t violence the best sales incentive?