If we’ve learned anything in four seasons of Workaholics, it’s that you can never go too far with an office prank. In fact, the nudity-and-violence heavy trailer for Season Five is even a perfect pranking tool. You should absolutely leave it up on a coworker’s monitor when they go to lunch. Especially the parts with breasts or excessive violence, as there’s no shortage of them.
With season five of the series right around the corner, and with the cornucopia of explosions and nipples that is its trailer, we thought it would be fun to look at some of the show’s standout pranks that you can pull still pull off. Let’s get weird!
Getting a work dummy
It’s not a sex doll, it’s a life-size action figure, and Blake seems to be the only one who realizes its many uses. Yes, it comes in handy when recreating Alien Resurrection, but the real practical use of having a plastic body double is having it sit in for you at work. Dress it up in your clothes, swivel it around to face your computer screen, and presto! You’re now free to grill up some gummy worm burgers.
Poop Dollars
Everyone likes finding free money and everyone also hates stumbling upon a random turd, which is exactly what makes the poop dollar such a perfect prank. We don’t know what kind of policy your office has about leaving dog feces in the hallway, so it’s probably best to check with your employee handbook before attempting. As evidenced by the amount of people on YouTube who have pulled it off, though, it has a near perfect turd-to-hilarity success rate.
Screwing with your coworkers morning routine
When Ders becomes Adam and Blake’s new manager, he lets the power corrupt him and must be taken down a notch. While Blake and Adam sabotage Ders in small ways at his home, the same strategy can be applied at work. Unscrew a few bolts on the office chair, rearrange the keys on somebody’s keyboard — it’s all about small mental assaults. Maybe don’t put a bicycle lock around their neck, though. Nobody deserves that kind of cruel and unusual punishment.
Sharing Someone’s Dick Pic With The Whole Office
Manipulating a coworker to send you a dick pic, and then forwarding it to everyone in the office, takes incredible skill and even more incredible cruelty. Nobody wants their genitals working their way up through 500 employees all the way to corporate. Then again, who are we to tell you what to do with your coworker’s junk?
Drunk Dialing Your Coworkers
There’s nothing new about prank calls, which doesn’t make them any less funny. You’re probably safe if you pull a prank call on a coworker that you’re tight with, but if you dare to try it on your boss, be prepared to either perfect those lock picking skills and delete the message before it’s too late, or get ready to send out some new resumes. Especially if you slander the Cornhuskers.
Trigger A Hostage Situation To Get Your Coworkers To Eat Something Gross
You should never eat anything in the TelAmeriCorp offices; if you’re lucky, you’ve just had a tasty drywall snack and if you’re unlucky, they’ll drive a coworker so insane he’ll fake someone’s death. Like, say, Bill, who, when his roast backfires, convinces the office he’s killed Adam and uses his power to force Montez to eat Waymond’s boogers and make Jet Set sh*t his pants. If you can pull something this outlandish off and still have a job, you probably missed your calling as a supervillain.
Become The Mastermind Of Office Sabotage
There can only be one commanding Prankster-in-Chief in every office and that title at TelAmeriCorp goes to Homegirl. While Homegirl is dead in the episode, she manages to turn her coworkers against each other like a slightly less cannibalistic Hannibal Lecter. And if you can somehow fake your own death and work as a puppet-master that pulls the strings of who pranks who, then more power to you.
To see the cutting edge in bringing down workplace morale, catch all new episodes of Workaholics tonight at 10/9c on Comedy Central. In the meantime, you can watch the trailer again. On someone else’s computer, of course. Preferably with some naked men getting splashed with fluid on loop: