A Florida Man Was Caught Masturbating Outside Because His Mom Wouldn’t Let Him Have Porn In The House

Man, living with your mom as an adult sucks. She’s always nagging you, bugging you to take out the trash, not being quick enough with the meatloaf, and oh yeah — forbidding the use of pornography in the house.

Well one man, 21-year-old Anthony Smith of Stuart, Florida, came up with a good solution: Just masturbate in the front yard! What could possibly go wrong with this brilliant plan? I mean, other than horrifying your neighbors and getting thrown in jail, of course. From TCPalm:

Two people shortly after 1 p.m. said they saw Smith standing in his yard. He had no clothes on and was masturbating. When a sheriff’s lieutenant pulled up, he noticed Smith “bending down naked in the driveway.”

“The suspect then stood up and ran back to his home next door,” the affidavit states. He went inside and got dressed.

He told deputies his mother won’t let him watch pornography in the house. He said he walks around naked outside and hopes someone sees him, saying it’s a “high.”

It may not have been a “high” for Smith to be taken to jail.

On snap, check out the local news source cracking a joke. That’s my job! Well I hope this guy’s mom learned her lesson, because this really isn’t even the worst outcome that can come out of sexually repressing your children, if you’ve ever seen the movie Carrie.

(TCPalm/MyFoxDC via Reddit)

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