Finally giving us an answer to the centuries-old scientific mystery “Do birds sing funny if you get them super drunk?,” scientists in Oregon, uh, got birds drunk and recorded them singing. Conclusion: Yup. Christopher Olson and his team found that zebra finches that had a blood alcohol level between .05 and .08 belted out songs that were garbled and slurred and “a bit less organized in their sound production.” Just like people!
I must know more. Immediately. Explain yourselves, scientists.
“We just showed up in the morning and mixed a little bit of juice with 6 percent alcohol, and put it in their water bottles and put it in the cages,” Olson told All Things Considered’s Arun Rath. “At first we were thinking that they wouldn’t drink on their own because, you know, a lot of animals just won’t touch the stuff. But they seem to tolerate it pretty well and be somewhat willing to consume it.” [NPR]
A few things:
- This sounds a lot like something they did one night after work, perhaps after consuming a little alcohol-juice mixtures themselves, and then hurried to justify the next morning. “Chris, why are all the birds hungover? And why is there an .mp3 on the computer of you singing ‘Suspicious Minds’ by Elvis Presley and trying to coax the birds into singing back-up?” “Uhhh… science? Yeah… SCIENCE!”
- I hope one of the birds was really shy and reserved until it got a few sips running through its system and then it started BELTING OUT songs, like the mousey girl you worked with in college who got drunk on whiskey sours at karaoke one night and ended up performing a very big, very earnest version of “Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera at 1:30 a.m.
- This is one of my favorite scientific studies ever.
- Being a scientist seems fun.
Next up: Let’s give chimpanzees some pot and ask them about the moon landing!