A Woman Dumped Her Boyfriend For Her 16 Creepy Puppet ‘Children’

Life & Culture Editor
04.27.15 4 Comments
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In terms of deal-breakers, puppets rank right up there with clowns. And for one man in Pennsylvania, his girlfriend’s puppets were just too much. So he asked her to choose between him and her 16 stuffed friends, whom she refers to as her children. April Brucker chose the puppets.

Brucker, who Metro describes as a singer/model/writer, dreams of traveling the world with her “children.” That dream no longer includes her boyfriend, who she says proposed to her after the third date and asked her to get rid of the puppets shortly after.

At one point she dumped the dolls, but says soon after she realised she was ashamed of the decision – concluding they were ‘her children’ so gave him the boot instead.

The singer, model and writer said: ‘Yes, they are expensive, but if they need things, they need things.

‘I will go without clothes for them. I’m a parent – that’s what you do.’

Brucker sounds very dedicated, but as Rebecca Martinson points out over at BroBible, puppets don’t actually need clothes. Nor any of the other things that Brucker buys for them, like hair treatments and, inexplicably, airfare. I don’t know about you, but if I got on a plane and saw an entire row of puppets, my entire life would flash right before my eyes.

Here’s a shot of Brucker and her kids:

Brucker’s ex wasn’t interviewed, but he can’t feel too bad that he’s no longer in a relationship with someone who accused him of being jealous of her puppets and then kicked him to the curb to travel the world with her dolls, right? The only alternative is that he feels very, very badly about this whole thing. To add even more insult to injury, Brucker says that unlike her ex, her puppets give her something no human ever could — unadulterated joy. “They have never disappointed me. Like men have,” she said.

(Source: BroBible)

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