Always Be Covering: Unless You Love Cancer And Hate Breasts

10.02.09 8 years ago 37 Comments

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and once again the NFL is working alongside the American Cancer Society to raise awareness about the disease. That means over the course of the next month you’re going to get an eyeful of more pink than Matt Leinart on spring break with various players sporting pink equipment because it looks cool and attracts attention they are deeply committed to this important cause.

While the pink infusion won’t have any direct impact on the games themselves, it will play a key roll in determining my favorite prop bet of the week.

On to the picks!

Single Game Picks

Baltimore +2 at New England

Vince Wilfork and Jerod Mayo will likely be out for Sunday’s game (although they both participated in practice this morning. That’s just the kind of advantage Baltimore’s offense needs to make them look more explosive than they really are.

New York Giants -9 at Kansas City

Because there is no good reason to not bet against Todd Haley.

New Orleans -7 vs. New York Jets

Both teams are 3-0 and perfect against the spread. I’ll give up the points to take the home team. Somehow I feel like I’ve let Rex down, and that makes me feel shitty.

Parlay of the Week

Cincinnati -6 at Cleveland
San Diego +7 at Pittsburgh

Chad Ochocinco will be wearing his pink cleats while Marmalard will be wearing his lucky pink garter. HUH? WHAT? IT MAKES ME FEEL SEXY!

Enticing Propopsitions

First coach to be fired during the 2009 regular season…

Jim Zorn 5/13
Jack Del Rio 7/2
John Fox 5/1
Dick Jauron 5/1
Gary Kubiak 8/1

NO ACTION! I personally can’t wait for Zorn’s ouster, but I’m not holding my breath on it happening before the season is over. Zorn is the overwhelming favorite to be the first to go even though there is no potential successor within the organization, even on an interim level.

Total regular season starts for Josh Freeman…

Over 1.5 (-125)

Raheem Morris knows that his team’s season is already in the tank, why not trot the rookie out for a few starts at some point? Also, who the fuck is Josh Johnson?

How many times will Deanna Favre be shown during the Monday Night Football broadcast…

Over 1.5 (-175)

SWEET JESUS! It’s like we’ve been blessed with a gift from above to make up for having to see Mrs. Favraro all night. I’d take the over on this bet if it were just Favre’s first game against Green Bay. Couple that with the kickoff of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month and it’s a god damn lock.

Enjoy the games, and if you happen to win some money you might consider donating some of it to help save future breasts. Breasts like these…

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