An Ohio Man Is Selling Elvis Presley’s Pubes For $5,000 On Craigslist

Senior Writer
12.16.14 7 Comments
Elvis with Nixon

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Classic rock fans who are either currently in or planning to visit London before August 31 of next year can help themselves to the “Elvis at the O2” exhibition, featuring a wide variety of Elvis Presley’s personal items. Everything from the King’s automobiles to his house keys are on display for his legion of eternally loyal fans, because until he comes back and admits that he faked his death, we simply have to get by with taking photographs in front of a glass case that holds his credit cards. Of course, not everyone is able to hop across the pond for this exhibition, but one Ohio man has us covered for that.

The unnamed Dayton resident has posted quite the Craigslist bargain for any Elvis fan out there, as you can now buy Presley’s pubes for the low price of $5,000. Don’t worry, this isn’t a scam or a joke – the King’s curlies come with a COA.

All you Elvis collectors lookie here. I have a real pubic hair from Elvis Presley plucked by my ex-wife Billie Jean Flurt from Elvis crotch in 1965. I hate to part with it. But it can be yours for Christmas for $5000.00. Comes with letter of authenticity signed by Colonel Parker. I guarantee its real! (Via Craigslist, H/T to Fark)

Obviously, I have a million questions, including:

Um, hey dude, why have you been holding on to a bag of pubes that your wife plucked from Elvis Presley almost 50 years ago?

Did your ex-wife convince you to keep the pubes and she’d settle for the TV and/or car?

Did you think that was a sweet deal or something? Because that deal sucks, man.

More like Billie Jean FLIRT, am I right?

But seriously, good luck selling your bag of pubes, guy. Maybe there’s a fat kid in a hick Colorado town looking to buy some.

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