Ass So Fat That You Can See It From the Front

11.09.07 10 years ago 31 Comments

Say what you want about the Redskins inept front office (B-Lloyd, Arch, and TJ say “thank you”) or their pathetic play calling, but at least their cheerleaders bring the heat. Before Dan Snyder arrival the offensive linemen had better bodies than the cheerleaders, although Shar Pourdanesh was a fucking minx. So if nothing else (seriously, there’s not much), at least we can thank him for that.

It’s my pleasure to introduce you to this week’s cheerleader selection, the Redskinettes own Kelley (the extra e is for “egads she’s stacked”). Although she actually predates the Snyder Regime, she’s certainly flourished within the more attractive environment. Kelley also possesses one of the more unique job titles listed on the cheerleader’s bios. She refers to herself as an aesthetician, like a young Kierkegaard with tits!

Thanks to this picture the sun now gives me an erection.

That bikini would look awesome on acid…or in my mouth.

While Kelley might be absolutely gorgeous, she’s certainly does not come equipped with the requisite britch thickness that I was looking for. Upon further inspection, this appears to be an epidemic throughout our beloved NFL (Alge Crumpler excluded). I’m not saying that all the cheerleaders should be smuggling hams, but I need to see some hot NFL cheerleaders who truly have the ass.

Another one of my favorite First Ladies of Football is the woefully named, yet able bodied, Chastity.

Now Chastity is working with an onion booty of modest quality (not to mention a couple of other fantastic assets) but on the whole, the league could still do so much more in the department of derrières.

What do you think about this subject Mr. Def?

See, Mos knows what I’m talking about. So come on NFL, we want to see a bit more ass next season. But don’t go cutting back on them tit-ays.

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