When I was a little kid, I once threw a tantrum because I wasn’t allowed to eat pizza for a holiday dinner, and for years that was the reason why I cursed the thought of turkey on holidays. But looking at this picture of something called a “Cthurkey,” or “Cthuken,” I would gladly never eat pizza again if it meant removing the image of a giant octopus beast climbing out of my Christmas turkey next week and slaughtering my entire family, before walking away on its large crab legs.
Gothamist actually tracked down the chef behind this cuisine, and Rusty Eulberg said that he “wanted to do something unique for Christmas dinner with friends of ours. Jenny is a big fan of Cthulhu so we went and bought some crab legs and some octopus and bacon and cooked them all separate and slapped them together on a plate, and that was it. The next year I made a Cthicken; the same thing using squid instead of octopus and a chicken.”
He claims it’s delicious, but I’m willing to bet that being stuffed inside a turkey and cooked in an oven is how Bearsharktopus was born, and now the darkest monsters of the Internet are closer than ever to becoming a reality.