Apple announced their new iPhone X and some other things on Tuesday, and the internet has already gone to work mocking a product they can’t even preorder until October 27th. The video above goes through some of the new phone’s, um, features. Did you know it comes in two new colors: You Can’t and Afford It? Did you know it will “shoot thousands of lasers straight into your pores, then it sucks out your soul just like a Dementor”? That’s possibly true! It can also be used to reenact the entire Emoji Movie, since the iPhone X is a $1000 emoji machine. That’s “as much as a good laptop… or three Switches and two games… or fifty U2 albums.”
The parody video was made by Jack Douglass of jacksfilms, who also made last year’s iPhone 7 parody. Jack wasn’t the only one making jokes about the announcement. Others — including Black Mirror — reacted, some pointing out the iPhone X is exactly what people asked for…
USERS: i guess it'd be nice to have a better battery on my iphone
APPLE: too bad idiot ur face is now ur password— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) September 12, 2017
USERS: put back the headphone jack
APPLE: the iphone 9 is called the iphone x
USERS: pplease
APPLE: apple stores are now called town squares— jonny sun (@jonnysun) September 12, 2017
https://twitter.com/sam_kriss/status/907683079522803714
The iPhone 8 now has glass on the back. Now I can shatter my screen on BOTH sides and stare into my reflection with disappointment twice
— gabby (@c_gabby14) September 12, 2017
And, of course, the facial recognition system that replaced TouchID continued to prompt plenty of jokes:
https://twitter.com/brendonSkolat/status/907700271643545600
imma unlock my man's iPhone X while his dumb face asleep 😈
— Isabel Hsu (@isabelhsu_) September 12, 2017
https://twitter.com/_YerikaC/status/907672316787781633
What happens if your face gets messed up? Also, doesn't this mean that somebody could open your phone while you're asleep? https://t.co/qKMT8LnMyy
— Emily Nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) September 12, 2017
"And now, to tell us more about the iPhone X and FaceID, Arya Stark…" pic.twitter.com/UPNr5NDigb
— Ankit Panda (@nktpnd) September 12, 2017
DUE TO COMPANY PASSWORD POLICY WE WILL BE REQUIRING ALL STAFF WHO GET THE NEW IPHONE TO HAVE THEIR FACE SURGICALLY ALTERED EVERY 90 DAYS
— PHP CEO (@PHP_CEO) September 12, 2017
Not everyone was psyched about Apple stores being renamed “town squares” either:
https://twitter.com/zamosta/status/907653508337352704
https://twitter.com/kait_tiffany/status/907653244180189185
The shark photoshop returned again:
https://twitter.com/darth/status/907660083550593024
Some speculated about why they skipped from iPhone 8 to iPhone X.
Heard Apple is skipping straight to the iPhone10 next because the iPhone7 ate 9.
— Brian Grubb (@briancgrubb) September 12, 2017
Others experienced sticker shock from the $1000 price tag:
https://twitter.com/ganafresh/status/907677866405527558
my problem with iphones has always been that after i buy them i have money left over to feed myself. lets see what apple can do about this
— Casey Johnston (@caseyjohnston) September 12, 2017
And some looked to the future:
https://twitter.com/lmScampi/status/907670435990528000
[the year 2057]
iPhone 49: *reaches for some of my fries*
Me: No. if you wanted fries you should have ordered some— pat tobin (@tastefactory) September 13, 2017