Black And Gold Versus Black And Actual Gold

10.31.10 7 years ago 208 Comments

“In the water-logged corner, wearing the Fleur-de-lis trunks and the creepy birthmark, Breesus “El Saaaavior” Christ.

In the bathroom stall corner, wearing the hypocycloid trunks with Choco Taco stains, the allegedly evil Benzlebub Roethlisberger.”

This match-up of the two previous Super Bowl champions would have been that much more enticing had New Orleans not spent the last month losing to Arizona and Cleveland. Nevertheless, it beats the hell out of Jacksonville and Tennessee as far as prime time games go. I fully expect the Saints to revert to 2009 championship form following an embarrassing loss to the Browns. So that should be fun, plus we all know a Saints fan will be caught on camera with a wildly inappropriate costume making fun of The Ben.

Speaking of, the Steelers’ last three weeks have been rife with controversy, what with Roethlisberger returning from suspension, James Harrison being singled out as the dirtiest player ever and the Gene Steratore making a bad initial touchdown signal in Miami. All three have helped to stoke Steelers hatred to near-record heights, but it’s the last one that has given comfort and fodder to the myriad conspiracy theorists who populate the dark, musty corners of the Intarwebs.

My favorite such rant by far came from mush-mouthed Philadelphian “master brain” jkallih:

In addition to wearing what might be the most outstanding torn-off sleeveless white T-shirt with a scrawled-on deranged message ever, he makes the following hilariously f*cktarded claims:

– He Googled “Pittsburgh Steelers controversial calls” and got 344,000 results. He therefore concludes the Steelers have been the beneficiaries of 344,000 controversial calls.

– All NFL referees are related to the Rooney family. More specifically, they are all nephews of Dan Rooney. I, for one, can’t wait for the story of Mike Carey’s conception.

– The Philadelphia Eagles are a class organization and have classy fans.

– A sepia colored upside-down picture of his ass is presented for kissing in lieu of his actual ass, because the genuine article would bring the hoes running.

– Only people who like fixed football games put French fries on sandwiches.

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