A bit of bad news for the red-blooded, heterosexual men of the world: cleavage is apparently over, according to the latest issue of Vogue UK. The article, called “Desperately Seeking Cleavage” cites a number of growing trends, such as women opting for a softer cup rather than a push-up style bra, the rise in creepy online trolls judging women’s bodies, and just choosing to focus on other parts of their bodies such as legs, shoulders, or midriffs in general.
In other words, women are collectively saying, “Eyes up here, Michael.” The article explains:
The cleavage – those magnificent mounds pushed together to display sexual empowerment, to seduce, to inspire lust or even just to show off – is over, or at least, taking a well-earned break. The t*ts will not be out for the lads. Or for anyone else, for that matter.
Rejecting the stereotypes of gender has been brought sharply into focus, with the days of women as eye-candy, their sexuality positively smouldering rather than subtly played out, officially over.
But all is not lost for fans of boobs, as the article notes that ASOS is launching a “side-boob bra” to capitalize on the trend in recent years. So it’s still boobs, but from a different angle. Also, the magazine also posted a survey on Twitter to discover whether or not cleavage was indeed over, and so far the overwhelming winning result is “if you’ve got it, flaunt it” which I’m sure was in no way tainted by male responses.