LL Cool J Is Just A Newfangled Django Dodging Invisible White Hoods Or Something

04.08.13 5 years ago 17 Comments

I don’t remember when or where I saw it, but I remember reading the song title “Accidental Racist,” by Brad Paisley featuring LL Cool J and wondering if country western artists had to deal with fake track lists surfacing on the ‘net the way Hip-Hop acts do. I didn’t give it much thought past my initial glance and chuckle. Unfortunately, the song is very real, and problematic doesn’t begin to cover what’s contained within it’s nearly six minute run time.

This CPAC meets Tupac nuclear explosion of terrible finds our poor victim Brad Paisley explaining to a Starbucks barista that he’s only wearing the rebel flag, you know the one that represented the segment of the country that seceded when they felt their rights to own humans were being infringed upon by a heavy-handed government, because he loves Lynyrd Skynrd. Of course.

From there, Brad yodels about being a white man from the southland and paying for the mistakes of people from prior generations. LL adds some choice lines about how his chains are now gold (presumably referring to the chains of his enslaved ancestors) and about how he’d like to buy the white man a beer “conversate and clear the air.”

Even with the above-described train wreck, the real fun comes in the final verse chorus where…oh just read for yourself:

“I’m just a white man
(If you don’t judge my do-rag)
Comin’ to you from the southland
(I won’t judge your red flag)
Tryin’ to understand what it’s like not to be
I’m proud of where I’m from
(If you don’t judge my gold chains)
But not everything we’ve done
(I’ll forget the iron chains)
It ain’t like you and me can re-write history
(Can’t re-write history baby)

Oh, Dixieland
(The relationship between the Mason-Dixon needs some fixin’)
I hope you understand what this is all about
(Quite frankly I’m a black Yankee but I’ve been thinkin’ about this lately)
I’m a son of the new south
(The past is the past, you feel me)
And I just want to make things right
(Let bygones be bygones)
Where all that’s left is southern pride
(RIP Robert E. Lee but I’ve gotta thank Abraham Lincoln for freeing me, know what I mean)
It’s real, it’s real
It’s truth”

So…that happened. LL Cool J compared the confederate flag to a hair care product, and wished that Robert E. Lee has peaceful slumber in the great big plantation in the sky.

Happy Monday!

Around The Web