I think we’ve all maybe been a little high on cats of late thanks to actions of Hero Cat. Look, I love cats, but let’s face it, most cats are dicks and for the past week or so we’ve been low on dogs and high on cats. We needed something to come along to balance the scales, so to speak. Thankfully, Total Douche Cat is here to do just that.
Remember, if you see Total Douche Cat, do not look directly at his unsnipped ballsack and express revulsion. That’s what he wants you to do. If you do that, he’s already won. It’s called peacocking or something.