I’m of the belief that the best birth control is looking at or listening to dumb babies howling like banshees and weeping like the world’s run out of cookies. So after spending enough time on the amazing new Tumblr, Reasons My Son is Crying, I can safely say I never want to have children. Ever. EVER.
The titular son is the child of an unknown father who, since earlier this month, has been uploading photos of his kid crying onto the Internet, with the reasons why. It’s amazingly inconsequential stuff — “His brother pretended to sing for one second,” “We suggested that he play with a train,” “It took me longer than 0 seconds to take his shirt off” — though it won’t seem so insignificant when dad’s paying for therapy bills after his son discovers the Tumblr.
“I asked him to thank his brother for sharing Buzz Lightyear.”
“I broke this cheese in half.”
“The milk was in the wrong cup.”
“I didn’t show him pictures on my phone quickly enough – and yes, they were pictures of him crying.”
“He’s in a giraffe costume.”
“I asked that he not wipe his muddy shoes off on my car seats.”
“His brother’s boots don’t fit.”
“The car seat. Always the car seat.”
“I have no idea why my son is crying.”