What can we get Peyton Manning to endorse next?

01.16.14 4 years ago 61 Comments


This week has managed to do what we previously thought completely impossible: pushed Peyton Manning’s endorsement deals to new heights.

First there was the Bud Light plug.

Then the “How ya doin’?” from Omaha Steaks because Christ, it’s not already annoying enough?

And today there was a metric shit-ton of – what else? – Papa John’s Pizza delivered to the Broncos’ media.

This never-before-achieved level of Manning Endorsement Saturation has brought up a question among the KSK staff: Is there actually an endorsement Manning won’t plug?

So consider this a challenge, Peyton. We dare you to accept these endorsement deals.

Ashley Madison
Obamacare (your pal Papa John wouldn’t be too happy, though)
Fart-filtering underwear (for the center that lacks control)
Any and all types of boner pills (you in a tub next to Wes Welker would be a nice touch)
Embalming fluid
XXXL skull caps and headbands for dudes with big noggins
Any feminine hygiene product (FREE IDEA: Have your o-line and the phrase, “When I need an extra layer of security” involved)
Any online poker website because there’s enough forehead real estate for a tattoo
Lil’ Tykes (with an appearance alongside Eli!)
David Duke for Louisiana Governor (it’s your home state!)
Any other pizza chain ever

What did I miss?

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