When your galaxy’s in peril from a genocidal maniac named Ronan the Accuser—as happens from time to time—you want the best on your side. Captain America? Iron Man? Losers, all of them. Andy f*cking Dwyer is where it’s at. Why have guardians of the galaxy when all we need is Chris Pratt? Need convincing, you faithless wretches? Behold.
1) Chris Pratt is a bona fide action hero with natural aptitude for faking out his opponents:
2) He knows all about the importance of stealth:
3) He’s so good at detective work he impresses even himself:
4) Have you ever seen a plan better than this?:
5) He doesn’t fall! Bucky Barnes:
6) He laughs in the face of certain death:
7) He knows what things are:
Things have proven to be very important in saving the galaxy, after all.
8) He knows the true key to military power:
Red Skull, the Mandarin, Loki. None of them have lions. All of them were defeated. Coincidence?
9) His physical prowess is impossible to match:
10) The bad guys want to conceal their secret plans? Good luck with that. He’s Chris Pratt, and he’s with the f*cking guardians of the galaxy:
Your move, bad guys.