Clayface — KSK Kontent Klearinghouse

05.06.13 5 years ago 22 Comments

Aaron Rodgers has an extensive history of photobombing teammates. At the Kentucky Derby, Clay Matthews returned the favor with his best rape gaze over the right shoulder of Rodgers. The people at Fathead need to get to work making that an option for a Clay Matthews wall decal. It’ll be a best-seller in the highly lucrative dungeon/mancave demographic.

— Oh hey, a bunch of dumb Tebow stuff: Tebowtards created one of those pointless White House petitions to get the president to make the Jaguars reconsider their disinterest in signing Tebow, however the petition has already been removed from the “We The People” petition submission page. Just wait until future president Tebow overhauls the petition process. By which I mean the country becomes the theocracy and the only way demands are granted is through prayer.

— Mike Ditka claims that if he were still coaching that he would take a chance on Tim Tebow at quarterback. Possibly trade an entire draft for him.

— Forbes named Tebow the most influential athlete of 2013. When oh when will an innovative NFL team step up and find a way to utilize the Influenceback?

— As expected, Chris Kluwe has been released by the Vikings. Gonna be hilarious if the four gay players that reportedly are in talks to come out together are all on Minnesota.

— Susie Sanchez, the 39-year-old cheerleading grandmother who was a member of the Raiders’ cheer squad in 2011 is now trying out to be a Cowboys cheerleader. You might be worried that she’s right up old-ass Monte Kiffin’s alley, but I hear he doesn’t go for anything younger than great grandmothers.

— A good read about how Justin Pugh’s agent worked to get his client into the first round of the draft. Yes, but what war room can he get Peter King in?

— Ravens third-round pick, defensive lineman Brandon Williams, spent last summer hauling and cleaning portable toilets. Somewhat predictable money quote: “Sometimes, you got a little poop on you.”

— Mario Williams is suing his former fiancee for running off with the $785,000 engagement ring he bought her. Feel like this is a future rookie symposium lecture in the making: “Recovering ridiculously extravagant gifts from gold diggers.”

— Ryan Clark is working to establish a post-football career as a talking head on ESPN. Clark is fairly insightful on Twitter, but no doubt ESPN will drum drooling idiocy into him before letting him on air on a consistent basis.

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