Cocaine Eyes: 15 Of Terry Richardson’s Most Ridiculous Photos, Explained

By 08.15.13

terry miley

Terry Richardson has photographed some of our favorite people, including Louis C.K., Michael Shannon, Christina Hendricks, Florence Welch, Kate Upton, Will Ferrell, Frank Ocean, Woody Allen, Barack Obama, and Danny McBride, and yet, I consider him one of my many enemies. And not just because he’s taken pictures of all those people, and I haven’t. There’s something about his hipster-chic, cocaine-dusted, Polaroid-sheen photos that come off severely bleak. Or maybe it’s just because he makes his subjects do ridiculously terrible things.

I mean, just look at that photo above, part of the set Richardson took with Miley Cyrus. (Yes, he literally wasn’t the one snapping the pic, but it would have came out the way had he been pressing the ironic DON’T CLICK click button.) It’s breathtakingly unsexy. Here are 15 more of Terry’s most absurd in-studio photos.

Jersey Shore Bros

jersey shore

“BROS BROS, GET IT? IT’S LIKE A SUB. BUT HUGE. LIKE OUR D*CKS. BUT HUGE. Wait…”

???

terry girl

“Am I 19 years old or am I 12? The answer may surprise you…”

Lady Gaga

gaga

“I want to show my Monsters the dangers of bullying.”

James Franco

james franco terry

“OK, now, James, pretend you’re Jesse Eisenberg dressing up as Mrs. Doubtfire for a briss.”

Derek Jeter

jeter

“Convince yourself he’s Yankee Fan Dan from Staten Island, and then you can get the heck out of here.”

Justin Bieber

bieber terry

“This might be tough, Justin, but try to look like even more of a douche than usual…PERFECT.”

Cole Mohr

Cole Mohr

“You’re a refugee who just lost his entire family after a warlord chopped your entire family to pieces.”

Kobe Bryant

kobe

“You and me, Kobe, I know we’re big fans of all things pseudo-rapey, so I knew I had to get you in here.”

Chloë Sevigny

chloe terry

“My dreams, THEY’RE COMING TRUE. I’m going to f*ck me so hard tonight.”

Lana Del Rey

lana

“This is the most human emotion I’m contractually obligated to show.”

Abbey Lee

abbey terry

“Abbey, let’s see your best Jared Leto impression.”

Jared Leto

jared terry

“Jared, let’s see your best Abbey Lee impression.”

Kreayshawn

sky

“Tell me what the world thinks of you, Kreayshawn.”

Lindsay Lohan

lohan gun

“Show me…the future, Lindsay.”

Lena Dunham

lena terry

That’s it. I’m done.

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