Cris Carter – Will Leitch II: The Phone Call

05.22.08 9 years ago 25 Comments

[Phone rings]

LEITCH: This is Will.

CRIS CARTER: What the fuck is up with these cats, man?

LEITCH: Wha…what are you talking about?

CRIS CARTER: There are these two cats…well hold on…maybe, maybe it’s one cat. I don’t know. But the words on the picture say Time Travel Cat Almost Creases Paradox? What the fuck is a paradox, man?

LEITCH: That’s not my site, Cris. I didn’t have anything to do with that site.

CRIS CARTER: You think this shit’s funny? This ain’t funny.

LEITCH: Cris, I’m not laughing at all.

CRIS CARTER: And how did you get that cat to travel back in time? Motherfucker, if you’re sending cats back in time, bitch, you better TELL ME.

LEITCH: Cris, I write for one blog. It’s not about cats. I have no insight into time travel.

CRIS CARTER: And then I saw you and your friends running through a forest and you used your magic powers to bomb somebody’s funeral? Why the fuck would you do that, man?

LEITCH: What the fuck are you talking about?

CRIS CARTER: You think that shit’s funny? That ain’t funny.

LEITCH: Cris, I write for one blog. It’s not about cats. I have no insight into the dark arts.

CRIS CARTER: And like the last two message board posts I couldn’t even read. And what’s up with that Scatman song? That song ain’t worth a shit, you know what I’m sayin’!

LEITCH: Cris, I gotta go.

CRIS CARTER: Don’t you hang up on me, motherfucker! I wanna know about this girl that’s crying about Britney Spears!

LEITCH: That’s not a girl. Goodbye.

CRIS CARTER: Motherfuck–


LEITCH: Wow, what an asshole.

(Oh, if you haven’t seen this or this, or heard about this, you probably didn’t get this, and need to spend more time online and less time hanging out with those damn friends of yours. -PUNTE)

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