Well I won’t be sleeping much tonight, not with all the thoughts about kissing I’ll be doing while waiting for my DIY makeout pillow to arrive! The delightfully horrifying invention is the work of Emily Grace King over at Instructables and she was gracious enough to post the step by step directions on how to make your own and practice making out tonight. From the site:
When I was in middle school, everyone “joked” about making out with pillows for practice. I’m assuming that I was not the only one for whom the jokes had some truth. Let’s just all admit that we all practice made-out with our pillows and we looked really silly doing it. Those poor pillows.
There seems to have been little innovation in the make-out practice pillow department despite the rise in popularity of decorative “Let’s Make Out” pillows and cuddle pillows that are shaped like a human torso, so it is time that I step in and offer a new solution to the middle-schoolers or lonely hearts of the world: a pillow with a mouth. You are welcome. You are so welcome.
The kissing aid cannibalizes the mouth from a CPR practice doll and then combines it with the safe comfort of a pillow to create some sort of Cronenberg-esque horror. Not to mention that King found her batch of materials by a dumpster, so that’s great. Still not a great as the horrifying DIY sex doll.
I’m just glad I can finally stop using my hand to practice kissing. People on the Metro were starting to stare at me like they stare at the lady pissing on the escalator.