Let Dr. Krieger Show You How To Get A Little Self-Respect

Dr. Algernop Krieger (Lucky Yates) may be an eccentric, sometimes dangerous, member of Archer’s constantly reinvented group of rag-tag former ISIS agents and employees, but you can’t deny that the man has a great deal of self-respect. From his experiments that have gone awry to his marriage to a hologram that “society just couldn’t handle,” Krieger has never really hidden who he is. That is, if you ignore that whole clone-of-a-Nazi-scientist thing. Sure, he is strange, untrustworthy, and probably (definitely) a little insane, but you can’t deny that Krieger is absolutely brimming with a sense of confidence.

If you happen to be looking for a little boost when it comes to self-respect, here are a few nuggets of wisdom from Dr. Krieger for you.

Be Confident, Not Cocky

“Uber-German. It means fierce warrior.”

Krieger’s past regularly comes into question, from his connections to the Third Reich to his childhood spent living in South America. According to Krieger, he’s just a regular guy from Rhode Island — specifically, the part of Rhode Island that has a large Brazilian population. Still, the guy can’t help boasting a little bit when he’s asked about the meaning of his last name. Although, considering his last name means ‘fierce warrior,’ can you really blame him? Being lucky enough to have a cool sounding last name can do wonders for your sense of self-respect. If that’s not the case, and you’re one of the billions of people who don’t have cool sounding names, gaining a little insight into your personal history can help give you a more complete sense of self.

Unlike Krieger, however, you’ll want to keep any secret vendettas you’re harboring quiet.

Stand Up For Yourself

“Maybe I didn’t go to some fancy-pants Ivy League med school, and maybe I didn’t go to some other med school, even the one down in Grenada which was my fall-back, but whatever! That doesn’t give you the right to bully me!”

We all know how important it is to stand up for yourself, and after Krieger gets thrown out of an operating room for, well, pretty much for being Krieger, he does exactly that. He just doesn’t go about it in the most productive way. While you should never be afraid to take a stand and you should always be proud of who you are and where you came from, you can do both without crashing a motorized cart through a wall. Which, if anything, will just distract everyone from what you’re trying to say.

Don’t Be A Pushover

“I literal — figuratively scoured the globe for these special herbs, at no small expense to myself.”

Everyone likes to be the nice guy, but if you go out of your way being too nice, you could be in danger of becoming a pushover. Krieger doesn’t have this problem, of course, and when some of his co-workers get nervous about an upcoming drug test, he offers them his own custom system-cleanse for a price. While Krieger’s ultimate motive was something else entirely, you should take a page from his book and not be afraid to ask for a little cash. If you start coming off as too nice, people could see you as someone they can take advantage of.

Though if you happen to be peddling hallucinogenic drugs to your co-workers (which is not recommended, by the way), you’re at least gonna want to be up front about that.

Repeat Your Name

“First of all, it’s Dr. I’ll-Solve-Your-Ant-Problem.”

Okay, so Krieger’s not really a medical doctor. He’s not even “the other kind” of doctor, for that matter. But, when Malory refers to him as ‘Mister,’ even sarcastically, Krieger doesn’t waste any time correcting her, all while he was admitting he couldn’t solve the office’s ant problem. Don’t be afraid to politely assert yourself a little when it comes to how you prefer to be addressed. It’s a matter of respect, after all. If you don’t, you could end up like Cheryl, who’s gone by more names than even she can remember at this point.

Hold Others Accountable

“These corporate bag munchers owe me $630 for my G*DDAMN FLEX ACCOUNT.”

Finding out you’ve been short-changed by your employer can be a frustrating realization. Should something like this come up, you’ll want to handle the situation calmly, through the proper channels, and with a calm, professional temperament. Not so much what Krieger planned, which involved a lot of molotov cocktails. Looking past that, what’s important here is that Krieger’s not afraid to ask for what he believes is owed to him, and neither should you. Like always, just be mindful of your follow-through.

Treat Yourself Now And Then

“I feel amazing. And Thoreau was a f*cking idiot!”

Chalk this one up to the old saying about how “clothes make the man.” When the Figgis Detective Agency finds itself entangled in some elaborate Hollywood divorce/fetish scheme, Archer (H. Jon Benjamin) bets that Krieger has a better chance of seducing trophy wife Barbara Zissner (Nika Futterman) than Cyril (Chris Parnell) does. After a shopping trip and a stop by Archer’s barber shop, Krieger is suddenly transformed into some kind of jumpsuit-wearing kung-fu enthusiast, who also bears a striking resemblance to Bob Ross. Point being, it’s amazing what a new outfit and haircut can do for your own self-image, so don’t be afraid to indulge a little now and then.

Not to mention that even though the bet never ended up getting settled, the smart money was on Krieger. For obvious reasons.

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