Drunk and Shirtless in a Canal at 5 a.m. Is PRECISELY How You Should Spend Your Bye Week

10.20.10 7 years ago 70 Comments

Colts punter Pat McAfee was released from jail earlier today, after police found him shirtless and soaking wet from a swim in a city canal at 5 a.m. Let’s go straight to the highlights:

Officers asked McAfee if he had been swimming in the canal and he said “I am not sure,” according to a police report. They asked him how he got wet and he said it had been raining, then told officers that his shirt was “in the water.”

Police asked McAfee how much he had to drink.

“A lot cause I am drunk,” McAfee said, according to the report…

Police were first called after a driver stopped at a red light reported that a man with no shirt approached her car. The woman told police she feared the man was going to try to get in the car, so she ran the red light and called 911 to report the suspicious person. [Daily Caller]

McAfee recorded a .15 BAL on the Breathalyzer, which every journalist on the planet was quick to call “almost twice the legal limit for drivers in Indiana.” It’s also a perfectly legal BAL for pedestrians who can hold their liquor.

Before the arrest, McAfee posted this on Twitter: “Bye week bye week bye week. Time to get some ish done. Happy Tuesday Party people.” [ESPN]

It’s hard for me to defend McAfee (because I loathe the Colts and regularly get work done with a BAL in the neighborhood of .15), but I will:

The guy is 23 years old, two years out of college, and stuck in the wasteland of Indianapolis, one of the handful of NFL cities that’s a step down in nightlife and culture from McAfee’s alma mater of West Virginia. He apparently had no intention of driving drunk (before asking if he could walk home, he told officers that he was waiting for a friend to get him and that he planned to take a cab). He wasn’t hitting a woman or dogfighting or sending pictures of his dick to anyone. He didn’t have practice the next day or the rest of the week. He was just one young drunk dude who wanted to go for a swim.

And for that, we salute you, Pat McAfee. Godspeed, and bottoms up.

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