Either Way, They’re Not as Fast as Purple Jesus in His BMW. WHO YA GOT?

12.04.09 8 years ago 41 Comments

The freshly KSK nicknamed Zulu Cthulhu can help the suddenly adequate Vince Young take down the unbeaten Colts this weekend, but for now he’s gotten himself entangled in a pointless wager with an NBA player. Yes, the gauntlet has been thrown – the Celtics Rajon Rondo and Chris Johnson must meet in a footrace for the ages. And by that, I mean one Zulu will win easily.

Chris Johnson had a 40 time of 4.24 at the 2008 combine. Rondo is reputed to be one of the fastest players in the NBA, though according to Shoals’ back of the envelope calculations of other quick NBA players running the 3/4 court sprint, he doesn’t stand much of a chance. Before we get to any of that, I’d like for us to pin down just how much money is at stake.

The tweet says two grand, but Johnson was quoted thusly in the Nashville City Paper:

“He called me and told me what Rondo was saying. So I went on Twitter and said, that’s easy money,” Johnson said. “That’s cool if he wants to lose $200,000. I had to go public with it. He must be stupid. It won’t be no close race.”

There’s a chance he misspoke or the reporter heard him wrong. If not, damn, that’s raising the stakes.

Let’s not forget that while Johnson might be technically speedier, he fails to take in account that the LEGENDAHY BAHSTAN FAITHFUL CAN WILL OW-AH DAAAHHHKKIEEE TAH VICTAHY! Ow-ah suppaht can shave AT LEAST fo-uh seconds awf his time.

Around The Web