Exclusive Look At Deion Sanders’ Prime Prep Troubled Curriculum

08.11.14 3 years ago 49 Comments


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Following up on the recent news that Deion Sanders Texas charter school Prime Prep for student-athletes may be in danger of losing its character due to allegations of a misappropriation of funds and sadly, not actually teaching academic courses, The New York Times conducted its own investigation into the troubled campus. Fortunately for KSK readers, Sanders’ distraction of not answering the Times’ Michael Powell directly when the reporter confronted him at practice gave us plenty of time to sneak into the registrar’s office and snatch a copy of the 2014-2015 Prime Prep schedule. 

Homeroom – Roll call, daily lifting cards distribution and the Pledge of Allegiance. Students are encouraged to have the Prime Prep Pledge memorized for the first day of school.

“I pledge allegiance to the #Truth of the united #Truth of #Truth, and to the #Truth for which it stands, one #Truth under #Truth, indivisible, with #Truth and #Truth for all.”

First Period – Stadium Stairs And Shakespeare Students will start the day with light cardio while listening to the 2010 BBC radio broadcast of “Antony and Cleopatra” by Billy Shakespeare. Headphones courtesy of Beats Audio.

Second Period – Agility: Change Of Direction Drills With Geometry Mastering the art of triangle runs while holding a protractor. Students must provide their own protractor.

Third Period – Must It Be The Money? Yes, It Must: A Study in Financial Planning How to avoid common mistakes with your millions of dollars; investing in your second-cousin’s Creole-Appalachian fusion diner, the real dollar costs of supporting twelve children, and how many Ferraris are too many Ferraris.

Advanced placement students will also examine Legal Bills – Don’t Give Your Ex-Wife’s Lawyer A Dime No Matter What The Judge Says.

Fourth Period – Forensics And Debate Oratory skills will be honed through student debates and extemporaneous speaking on a mock NFL Network stage. Students are encouraged to bring their own makeup kits as to best match their skin tone.

Fifth Period – There Is Such A Thing As A Free Lunch: You’re Famous And They’re Lucky To Have You There During lunch, we’ll go over the rules for who pays for your meals; your agent or your manager, rookies, and how one signed photo with the owner of Mama Costantini’s means three years of spaghetti è offerto dalla casa.

Sixth Period – Naps

Seventh Period – Narcissism and Me An intensive program of learning how to pose for photos after a play, grooming, fashion, and overt egotism.

Eighth Period: History Of The Dead (Lifting) Prime Prep believes all athletes cannot pursue a bright future without strengthening their knowledge of the past, so the day will end in the weight room for powerlifting while watching highlight reels from the past hundred years of baseball and football. Students should expect pop quizzes on superstars from bygone eras (read: any athlete born before 2000) during this class. Failure to answer correctly will result in thirty extra burpees.

After School Extracurricular Activities:  

Rowingball (New for Spring 2015)
Intro to Biology

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