Favre Found to Be Female; Will Never Be Successful Sports Blogger Now

03.12.08 10 years ago 22 Comments

In a shocking development, wingnut batshit yapcunt radio host Laura Ingraham has revealed to the world that once-revered Green Bay Packers quarterback is, in actuality, a woman, by dint of his her propensity to get all blubbery and weepy like a little bitch with a skinned knee at his her retirement press conference.

While it is uncertain how this may affect Favre’s post-football life – she may have to start endorsing female Viagra in lieu of the regular version, and she may begin to stupidly look for misogynistic notes in every single fucking movie even where they don’t exist – this much is certain: she won’t be doing any sports blogging.

“You know, we were really hoping to bring Favre in to do chronicle his wacky exploits in the NBA D-League. But now that I found out that he, or, uh, she is a woman, like, what’s the point? Do women use computers? Eh, it’s a market we can do without. I will also be scrapping the Arial font “Gunslinger” T-shirts on Mister Irrelevant.”
-Jamie Mottram, Yahoo!

“We suppose there is still a population segment that finds some resonance in the homespun values and devil-may-care antics of Favre. Besides, God knows we need someone to write another Closer. Given our history of rooting for teams after they change cities, it follows that we should do the same for athletes after they change gender. But no. Fandom doesn’t have to make sense.”
-Will Leitch, Deadspin

“Is she available for a photo shoot?”
-Brooks, SportsbyBrooks

“Hey commenters: Tell us how to spin this.”
-The Big Lead

“Well, Miss Gossip is already a managing editor for our site, so I’m not sure what you mean when you say there are no prominent female sports bloggers.”
-John Ness, Fanhouse

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